Trapped

Trapped inside my head
I so badly need out
but no one can hear me
no one hears silent shouts

I'm closing in on insanity
meters are way up on despair
I just feel so alone
Like nobody even cares

I used to have goals
even hopes and even dreams
but now i have nothing
is it really as bad as it seems?

I will hide all my struggles
enforcing with routine is the key
No one will suspect anything
if there's nothing to see

I blame it on teenage angst
my reason for falling of course
I'm unbelievably angry
but missing a source

I tell myself it's withdrawal
that's why I'm acting weird
but who knew it would be like this
the old me has disappeared

Maybe I'm the me I've always been
am i really this weak?
I can't take it if it's true
this isn't the me i meant to seek

I'm confused, I'm lost
why do i feel like this?
I need someone to talk to
someone with who wont just spit bliss

Oh well. I prefer keeping it to myself
that way there's no one to blame
for saying the wrong things
and just feeding the flames

I'm just not sure
what exactly it means
I just know I dont like me
not when I'm clean

<3 shelby